The other day I was driving and I was going through scenarios of current life situations that I am dealing with and I thought to myself... maybe I should give this person "an out".
Now when I say an out I mean a way to break whatever contract this individual and I had. Keep in mind, this particular situation had to do with more of an emotional aspect than monetary aspect of life.
I'm sitting there in my car thinking maybe I should give this person "an out" let them move on and forget everything. After all it would probably be easier that way. So I thought alright I'll talk to this person and see what they want to do about it.
Then the thought hit me... what if this person opts to take the out?! I didn't want that! That was the last thing I would want to happen!
Now to protect my wants and desires, I've decided not to bring up said "out". There is no way I'm going to try to do anything to possibly loose this individual in my life.
I know it's probably selfish, but I actually don't care at the moment. For once I know what I want and that's pretty important to go after, is it not?
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Cowardice
Tonight was a fantastic night! I got to have dinner with one of my dear friends (Nick Peterson), who I always have a great time and wonderful conversations with and can't wait to see again on Saturday, and I got to dance with some of my favorite leads! Which let's face it, is all I need for a good night!
Even though tonight was overall a great and fabulous night there is something I need to say...
One thing that happened tonight that wasn't so fantastic is I realized that some people are just plain cowards. There is someone who hasn't been very friendly to me for the past little while. Not that I really care too much, unless it comes to the point where you're trying to make me look like a fool in front of other people. Well tonight as I was walking away from the dance venue this individual said (in a very condescending tone that screamed "I'm going to make you look bad right now")"Bye Karen!" I said an unenthusiastic bye and threw my normal peace sign and he replied "Merry Christmas!" In the same condescending tone.
Now normally I wouldn't think twice about it, I would just move on and say whatever. This time is different. Don't try to make a fool out of me to make yourself feel better about your shattered ego, buddy. You had all night to say hi, but you didn't because you're a coward and you knew if you said hi to me the way you did as you were getting driven away I would have b**** slapped you.
Even though tonight was overall a great and fabulous night there is something I need to say...
One thing that happened tonight that wasn't so fantastic is I realized that some people are just plain cowards. There is someone who hasn't been very friendly to me for the past little while. Not that I really care too much, unless it comes to the point where you're trying to make me look like a fool in front of other people. Well tonight as I was walking away from the dance venue this individual said (in a very condescending tone that screamed "I'm going to make you look bad right now")"Bye Karen!" I said an unenthusiastic bye and threw my normal peace sign and he replied "Merry Christmas!" In the same condescending tone.
Now normally I wouldn't think twice about it, I would just move on and say whatever. This time is different. Don't try to make a fool out of me to make yourself feel better about your shattered ego, buddy. You had all night to say hi, but you didn't because you're a coward and you knew if you said hi to me the way you did as you were getting driven away I would have b**** slapped you.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Never know what to say
A while ago I had a friend come to me with a problem. They wanted my help, but they didn't want my help at the same time. It got frustrating. To the point where I felt the urge to write something. At the time I wasn't near a computer or paper so I typed it in my phone. I haven't done anything with it until now, obviously.
It's not some great piece of literary genius, but I like it. It's raw and it truly is just what I was feeling. I didn't sit there and edit it or try to make it better, I just left it. So here you go!
It's not some great piece of literary genius, but I like it. It's raw and it truly is just what I was feeling. I didn't sit there and edit it or try to make it better, I just left it. So here you go!
I never know what to say.
Whenever I do say something it always seems wrong.
I hate being pushed away.
And every time I speak that's what happens.
I don't know what to do.
Do I keep quiet and hope that doesn't hurt?
Or do I try to unsuccessfully comfort you and feel like I'm being exiled?
-Karen Vizzard (December,2009)
Nodding and Smiling
Have you ever been in a situation where people are talking about personal experiences and you just have to nod and smile because you've never experienced it personally??
Well that happens to me quite a lot. For someone who traveled to the other side of the world on a whim I haven't experienced much here at home. I mean I've lived in LA for 19 years of my life and had never REALLY been to downtown LA until this last year (Thanks Marshall)!
Well recently I was talking to a great guy. We were talking about how we love the outdoors and stars and such. He started talking about how shooting stars, saying how great they were. Well there I was just nodding and smiling because I had never really seen a shooting star. Then he asked me if I agreed and I had to confess that I had no idea!
I swear he's going to have serious jaw problems for the rest of his life, his jaw dropped to the floor! He couldn't believe that I had never seen a shooting star. He brought up all of the overnight road trips I had done, because surely I must have seen one then, right? Wrong.
After the conversation I thought that I should make an extra special effort to look for shooting stars. Since then I've seen one on every long drive (over 2 or 3 hours) that I've taken! On the way back from Phoenix this last Sunday night (12/13/2009) I saw 6!! I was pretty impressed.
I love my friends for the opportunity they give me to learn about new things and have new experiences. Never a dull moment in my life because of you guys and I love it!!
Well that happens to me quite a lot. For someone who traveled to the other side of the world on a whim I haven't experienced much here at home. I mean I've lived in LA for 19 years of my life and had never REALLY been to downtown LA until this last year (Thanks Marshall)!
Well recently I was talking to a great guy. We were talking about how we love the outdoors and stars and such. He started talking about how shooting stars, saying how great they were. Well there I was just nodding and smiling because I had never really seen a shooting star. Then he asked me if I agreed and I had to confess that I had no idea!
I swear he's going to have serious jaw problems for the rest of his life, his jaw dropped to the floor! He couldn't believe that I had never seen a shooting star. He brought up all of the overnight road trips I had done, because surely I must have seen one then, right? Wrong.
After the conversation I thought that I should make an extra special effort to look for shooting stars. Since then I've seen one on every long drive (over 2 or 3 hours) that I've taken! On the way back from Phoenix this last Sunday night (12/13/2009) I saw 6!! I was pretty impressed.
I love my friends for the opportunity they give me to learn about new things and have new experiences. Never a dull moment in my life because of you guys and I love it!!
Friday, December 4, 2009
TEARS ON MY PILLOW
"TEARS ON MY PILLOW
Little Anthony and the Imperials
You don't remember me, but I remember you
't was not so long ago, you broke my heart in two
Tears on my pillow, pain in my heart, caused by you, you
If we could start anew, I wouldn't hesitate
I'd gladly take you back, and tempt the hand of fate
Tears on my pillow, pain in my heart, caused by you,
Love is not a gadget, love is not a toy
When you find the one you love, she'll fill your heart with joy
If we could start anew, I wouldn't hesitate
I'd gladly take you back, and tempt the hands of fate
Tears on my pillow, pain in my heart, caused by you, you
Oh wo wo wo you you
FADE: wo oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh"
When the first guy I really truly loved and I broke up I listened to this song OVER and OVER and OVER again. It said exactly what I was feeling so it felt very appropriate to listen to it. Sad I know, but give me a break!
Well ever since then whenever I feel sad or something I listen to this song! When I first started doing that I would say to myself, "hey you got over that guy you can get over anything." It worked really well as a self affirmation at the time.
Now when I just listened to this song I still thought of that time, where I was heart broken and couldn't eat or sleep or function outside of the minimum that was required of me, and thought "wow that was a terrible time." Then I listen to the words of the song. I thought to myself, "hmmm do I still feel that way?"
I thought long and hard! Do I really want to tempt the hands of fate and start again with this guy?? Ever since this guy and I broke up I thought that I would love to be with him again. I never really questioned that feeling until this morning when I turned this song on!
So after much careful deliberation I have decided that I don't really feel that way anymore. Mind you I still love this guy, I think I always will (he was my first love after all), but I don't want to be with him. Can I just tell you what a great feeling that was to realize?!
I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders! Weird I know because it happened so many years ago. But as I said I had never really taken inventory of my feelings about the subject other than I knew I had felt like that in the beginning and figured I still felt that way.
At any rate just wanted to share!
Little Anthony and the Imperials
You don't remember me, but I remember you
't was not so long ago, you broke my heart in two
Tears on my pillow, pain in my heart, caused by you, you
If we could start anew, I wouldn't hesitate
I'd gladly take you back, and tempt the hand of fate
Tears on my pillow, pain in my heart, caused by you,
Love is not a gadget, love is not a toy
When you find the one you love, she'll fill your heart with joy
If we could start anew, I wouldn't hesitate
I'd gladly take you back, and tempt the hands of fate
Tears on my pillow, pain in my heart, caused by you, you
Oh wo wo wo you you
FADE: wo oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh"
When the first guy I really truly loved and I broke up I listened to this song OVER and OVER and OVER again. It said exactly what I was feeling so it felt very appropriate to listen to it. Sad I know, but give me a break!
Well ever since then whenever I feel sad or something I listen to this song! When I first started doing that I would say to myself, "hey you got over that guy you can get over anything." It worked really well as a self affirmation at the time.
Now when I just listened to this song I still thought of that time, where I was heart broken and couldn't eat or sleep or function outside of the minimum that was required of me, and thought "wow that was a terrible time." Then I listen to the words of the song. I thought to myself, "hmmm do I still feel that way?"
I thought long and hard! Do I really want to tempt the hands of fate and start again with this guy?? Ever since this guy and I broke up I thought that I would love to be with him again. I never really questioned that feeling until this morning when I turned this song on!
So after much careful deliberation I have decided that I don't really feel that way anymore. Mind you I still love this guy, I think I always will (he was my first love after all), but I don't want to be with him. Can I just tell you what a great feeling that was to realize?!
I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders! Weird I know because it happened so many years ago. But as I said I had never really taken inventory of my feelings about the subject other than I knew I had felt like that in the beginning and figured I still felt that way.
At any rate just wanted to share!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Time to Laugh
Recently my friends have been talking about my blog. I'm started to think that people actually like to hear what I have to say sometimes! Which at first started to give me a big head, but I've since calmed down and decided that they just need some entertainment from some outlet other than TV, books, movies, etc. and that I'm the kind of girl that can laugh at herself... which let's face it listening to me tell my most embarrassing moments provides more entertainment than any book, movie, or TV show could ever hope to produce!
Which brings me to my point of this blog! Embarrassing story time! (I have to apologize for those of you reading that have heard this story... I've told it a million times already because I think it's just that funny. I have to share it with everyone that hasn't yet had the chance to hear it.)
On Saturday the 21st of November 2009 I arrived in Melbourne at 10:20 am or so. After I was picked up from the airport the first thing Joel, Kate, James (all Australian swing dancers), and I did was go to a small local Cafe. Since it was 10 am and I hadn't slept much on the 16 hour flight over I was pretty out of it and decided I needed some caffeine to boost my energy level. I look at the menu marquee and saw "Coffee 2.90" I think to myself, "PERFECT!"
The waiter comes over and asks everyone what they want and finally it's my turn. I say, "I'll have a cup of coffee." The waiter pauses a second and then says, "what kind?" My response?? "Ummm... the coffee kind?"
Everyone at the table starts busting at the seams laughing. No one bothered to tell the American that Australia has a bunch of different kinds of coffee. Finally the waiter says "Where are you from?"
"Los Angeles"
"Okay I've got you covered!"
He came back with a DELICIOUS cup of coffee! There began my Australian training!
Mind you I have a LONG way to go, but it's a step in the right direction!
I am having a blast here and can't wait to go out and explore more of the city get to know more people and learn the little catch phrases like "in a tick" or "car park".
Which brings me to my point of this blog! Embarrassing story time! (I have to apologize for those of you reading that have heard this story... I've told it a million times already because I think it's just that funny. I have to share it with everyone that hasn't yet had the chance to hear it.)
On Saturday the 21st of November 2009 I arrived in Melbourne at 10:20 am or so. After I was picked up from the airport the first thing Joel, Kate, James (all Australian swing dancers), and I did was go to a small local Cafe. Since it was 10 am and I hadn't slept much on the 16 hour flight over I was pretty out of it and decided I needed some caffeine to boost my energy level. I look at the menu marquee and saw "Coffee 2.90" I think to myself, "PERFECT!"
The waiter comes over and asks everyone what they want and finally it's my turn. I say, "I'll have a cup of coffee." The waiter pauses a second and then says, "what kind?" My response?? "Ummm... the coffee kind?"
Everyone at the table starts busting at the seams laughing. No one bothered to tell the American that Australia has a bunch of different kinds of coffee. Finally the waiter says "Where are you from?"
"Los Angeles"
"Okay I've got you covered!"
He came back with a DELICIOUS cup of coffee! There began my Australian training!
Mind you I have a LONG way to go, but it's a step in the right direction!
I am having a blast here and can't wait to go out and explore more of the city get to know more people and learn the little catch phrases like "in a tick" or "car park".
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Intolerance
Intolerance
1. The quality or condition of being intolerant; lack of tolerance.
2. Medicine. Extreme sensitivity or allergy to a drug, food, or other substance: lactose intolerance.
I'll let you take a second to guess which one I am talking about... because I'm sure from just reading the title of this post your mind definitely went to one of those two!
Sorry to disappoint, but I am talking about the medical definition. Now I'm sure some of you will stop reading, but that's OK... I won't hold it against you!
I have recently come to the conclusion that I have a slight intolerance to dairy. Every time I eat/drink it I feel sick and I just want to die!
You may be thinking, "Alright Karen. What's the big deal?! TONS of people are lactose intolerant and they deal! WHY are you taking time to write a post about it?!"
See a normal person once they find out they're allergic to something tries to stay away from that certain something, right? Well here is where I prove that I am A-typical! I don't try to stay away from dairy at all!!! Sometimes I will even go out searching for it! Then after having any dairy products I always vow to stay away from dairy forever! Needless to say that doesn't last long... I wake up in the morning craving a milkshake or cheese or yogurt (mostly just milkshakes).
Recently the sickness after eating dairy has been getting worse and worse. I just have to say that I HATE IT!!!!
Last night at Strutter's Ball in Orange County I got so sick that I only danced 5 songs! I never only dance 5 songs even back in the day when my knees hurt like none other!
I had drank a Starbucks Vanilla Frappuccino from 7/11 on the way down to the venue and I wasn't feeling too great before dancing because of this dairy filled drink, but I danced anyway. By the end of the 5th dance I felt like I was going to heave up everything that I had eaten for the week!
Unfortunately, I have difficulty vomiting on my own, so I went to the bathroom and stuck my fingers down my throat (no worries I'm not bulimic and I don't do this on a regular occasion). Anyway, nothing came out, and I still felt like SH** the rest of the night! Right then and there I said, "That's it! I can't take it anymore!! NO MORE DAIRY!!!"
Less than 24 hours later.... I drank some milk - felt like crap after... then I had 1 1/2 slices of pizza - again felt like crap.
Moral of the story?? I am really just dumb. AND I hate dairy, but I love it at the same time! Now if that isn't tolerant intolerance I don't know what is!
1. The quality or condition of being intolerant; lack of tolerance.
2. Medicine. Extreme sensitivity or allergy to a drug, food, or other substance: lactose intolerance.
I'll let you take a second to guess which one I am talking about... because I'm sure from just reading the title of this post your mind definitely went to one of those two!
Sorry to disappoint, but I am talking about the medical definition. Now I'm sure some of you will stop reading, but that's OK... I won't hold it against you!
I have recently come to the conclusion that I have a slight intolerance to dairy. Every time I eat/drink it I feel sick and I just want to die!
You may be thinking, "Alright Karen. What's the big deal?! TONS of people are lactose intolerant and they deal! WHY are you taking time to write a post about it?!"
See a normal person once they find out they're allergic to something tries to stay away from that certain something, right? Well here is where I prove that I am A-typical! I don't try to stay away from dairy at all!!! Sometimes I will even go out searching for it! Then after having any dairy products I always vow to stay away from dairy forever! Needless to say that doesn't last long... I wake up in the morning craving a milkshake or cheese or yogurt (mostly just milkshakes).
Recently the sickness after eating dairy has been getting worse and worse. I just have to say that I HATE IT!!!!
Last night at Strutter's Ball in Orange County I got so sick that I only danced 5 songs! I never only dance 5 songs even back in the day when my knees hurt like none other!
I had drank a Starbucks Vanilla Frappuccino from 7/11 on the way down to the venue and I wasn't feeling too great before dancing because of this dairy filled drink, but I danced anyway. By the end of the 5th dance I felt like I was going to heave up everything that I had eaten for the week!
Unfortunately, I have difficulty vomiting on my own, so I went to the bathroom and stuck my fingers down my throat (no worries I'm not bulimic and I don't do this on a regular occasion). Anyway, nothing came out, and I still felt like SH** the rest of the night! Right then and there I said, "That's it! I can't take it anymore!! NO MORE DAIRY!!!"
Less than 24 hours later.... I drank some milk - felt like crap after... then I had 1 1/2 slices of pizza - again felt like crap.
Moral of the story?? I am really just dumb. AND I hate dairy, but I love it at the same time! Now if that isn't tolerant intolerance I don't know what is!
Leaving on a Jet Plane
You know when you get into a mood and you just want to post but you don't have anything to post about?? Well that's me right now! Sooo I'm just gonna talk for a bit!
Yes it's 3 o'clock in the morning... and I'm not sleeping. Like the crazy person that I am for some reason I decide NOW is a good time to post a BLOG.
Well in life, contrary to my normal response of nothing, a lot has been going on. I am currently a full time student, I currently work full time, and on top of that I dance almost every night of the week! Something had to give so I have decided to drop a class which will still leave me with 9 or 10 credits which is a pretty hefty load.
I just had my 21st birthday on August 30th! I went to Vegas and let me tell you, that was a BLAST! The last month has been a good month as far as traveling wise. Out of the last 5 weekends I've only been home one. I have gone to Phoenix three times to visit friends and go to dance events and I went to Vegas once.
The traveling isn't going to stop there!! Next week on Wednesday (September 30, 2009) I am leaving for Montana to go perform/teach at a Jazz Festival and on the way back I am going to spend a few days (October 5, 2009 - October 8, 2009) in Denver since I have always wanted to go and NEVER have! THEN on October 16th I will be up in San Fransisco for a dance competition! After that competition I am planning on chilling and working as much as possible to save up for my AUSTRALIA trip on November 19th!!! After Australia I'm hoping to be able to go back to San Fran (December 4th - 6th) to compete at the Balboa Battle. Then I am HOPING to go to Lindy Focus in Asheville, North Carolina to throw down my and Shaheed's improved showcase!
MAN!!! That made me tired just typing about all of these travels!!! I can't believe how lucky I am to be able to travel all over the world!!
As you can tell I'm super stoked about all of it!
I just can't wait to do more traveling!!!
alright time to /geekingout
Yes it's 3 o'clock in the morning... and I'm not sleeping. Like the crazy person that I am for some reason I decide NOW is a good time to post a BLOG.
Well in life, contrary to my normal response of nothing, a lot has been going on. I am currently a full time student, I currently work full time, and on top of that I dance almost every night of the week! Something had to give so I have decided to drop a class which will still leave me with 9 or 10 credits which is a pretty hefty load.
I just had my 21st birthday on August 30th! I went to Vegas and let me tell you, that was a BLAST! The last month has been a good month as far as traveling wise. Out of the last 5 weekends I've only been home one. I have gone to Phoenix three times to visit friends and go to dance events and I went to Vegas once.
The traveling isn't going to stop there!! Next week on Wednesday (September 30, 2009) I am leaving for Montana to go perform/teach at a Jazz Festival and on the way back I am going to spend a few days (October 5, 2009 - October 8, 2009) in Denver since I have always wanted to go and NEVER have! THEN on October 16th I will be up in San Fransisco for a dance competition! After that competition I am planning on chilling and working as much as possible to save up for my AUSTRALIA trip on November 19th!!! After Australia I'm hoping to be able to go back to San Fran (December 4th - 6th) to compete at the Balboa Battle. Then I am HOPING to go to Lindy Focus in Asheville, North Carolina to throw down my and Shaheed's improved showcase!
MAN!!! That made me tired just typing about all of these travels!!! I can't believe how lucky I am to be able to travel all over the world!!
As you can tell I'm super stoked about all of it!
I just can't wait to do more traveling!!!
alright time to /geekingout
Friday, August 7, 2009
Dreamin' a Dream
This afternoon I decided it would be a good idea to take a nap before I went into work (I had stayed out late the night before and I had woken up fairly early to take my dad to the doctor for the follow up on his cataract surgery). Little did I know it was going to be the worst decision I made of the day!
All was going great! So I strip down to the essentials (my room is the hottest room in the house) and got all settled with my teddy bear in bed. Sleep came quickly and easily. The funny thing is I started dreaming, vividly... the reason I say this is funny is because I can't remember the last time I dreamed while sleeping.
The dream started off with me back in High School on the first day of school. I was running around with my backpack trying to find my homeroom. Finally I find people that know where it is and happen to be in my homeroom class. We all walk to the classroom and wait outside for the teacher to get there. The school day proceeds and the only thing I really remember about it is gym class. I hung out on the blacktop watching all of the jocks warm up... let's face it ladies who wouldn't dream about this?! lol!
At any rate, at the end of the day I got home to find a letter on the table for me. It was an address and a name I didn't recognize at all. I opened it thinking, "uhhhh, WTF?" Well it turned out to be from my biological mother. I read it and the way she was talking to me seemed like she had been writing letter after letter. So I naturally went to my parents and asked them if they knew anything about it. Their response was, "You weren't supposed to find out about that." Eventually they pulled out a huge box of letters that my biological mother had been writing me for 18 years! I called one of my best friends over to read them with me, just for the moral support. I read them and started bawling my eyes out! It had become such an emotional dream that I actually started crying in my sleep! The best friend I had called for support just kept rubbing my back and asking me, "so what are you going to do now?" I couldn't even answer her I just kept crying and crying. It seemed like hours!
I finally woke up to a tear stained face and my makeup all over my pillow case STILL crying!! I was even more tired than I was when I first laid in my bed and now on top of that I had this load of my biological mother on my mind. Is this my subconscious telling me I need to try to find my mother, or is it just some strange dream that every adopted child has?
I have never had a dream like this ever before! I have always had the thoughts of what would it be like to meet my biological parents, I have wondered what they look like, what their personalities are like, etc. Which I feel are pretty normal for an adopted child. This dream just took me for a loop! I didn't know how to deal with it! I went to work and went about the rest of my day as normal, but it just kept bugging me.
In the past I have called LDS Social Services and asked if there was anything I could do to get more information about my biological parents. The answer was a $50 medical history update and I could sign a consent to contact form. Which just means if by chance my biological parents decide to go look in my adoption file they could get my contact info and find me. This never really interested me before since I would have to make the trek all the way down to San Diego, I would have to pay $50 for something a normal (not adopted) child gets for free, and I didn't think the chances of my biological parents actually contacting me were very high.
Today that has changed. I have decided that I'm going to make the 2 hour drive down to San Diego in the next couple of weeks and do it.
Even if nothing comes of it at least I tired, right?! Well I tried short of hiring a P.I.
All was going great! So I strip down to the essentials (my room is the hottest room in the house) and got all settled with my teddy bear in bed. Sleep came quickly and easily. The funny thing is I started dreaming, vividly... the reason I say this is funny is because I can't remember the last time I dreamed while sleeping.
The dream started off with me back in High School on the first day of school. I was running around with my backpack trying to find my homeroom. Finally I find people that know where it is and happen to be in my homeroom class. We all walk to the classroom and wait outside for the teacher to get there. The school day proceeds and the only thing I really remember about it is gym class. I hung out on the blacktop watching all of the jocks warm up... let's face it ladies who wouldn't dream about this?! lol!
At any rate, at the end of the day I got home to find a letter on the table for me. It was an address and a name I didn't recognize at all. I opened it thinking, "uhhhh, WTF?" Well it turned out to be from my biological mother. I read it and the way she was talking to me seemed like she had been writing letter after letter. So I naturally went to my parents and asked them if they knew anything about it. Their response was, "You weren't supposed to find out about that." Eventually they pulled out a huge box of letters that my biological mother had been writing me for 18 years! I called one of my best friends over to read them with me, just for the moral support. I read them and started bawling my eyes out! It had become such an emotional dream that I actually started crying in my sleep! The best friend I had called for support just kept rubbing my back and asking me, "so what are you going to do now?" I couldn't even answer her I just kept crying and crying. It seemed like hours!
I finally woke up to a tear stained face and my makeup all over my pillow case STILL crying!! I was even more tired than I was when I first laid in my bed and now on top of that I had this load of my biological mother on my mind. Is this my subconscious telling me I need to try to find my mother, or is it just some strange dream that every adopted child has?
I have never had a dream like this ever before! I have always had the thoughts of what would it be like to meet my biological parents, I have wondered what they look like, what their personalities are like, etc. Which I feel are pretty normal for an adopted child. This dream just took me for a loop! I didn't know how to deal with it! I went to work and went about the rest of my day as normal, but it just kept bugging me.
In the past I have called LDS Social Services and asked if there was anything I could do to get more information about my biological parents. The answer was a $50 medical history update and I could sign a consent to contact form. Which just means if by chance my biological parents decide to go look in my adoption file they could get my contact info and find me. This never really interested me before since I would have to make the trek all the way down to San Diego, I would have to pay $50 for something a normal (not adopted) child gets for free, and I didn't think the chances of my biological parents actually contacting me were very high.
Today that has changed. I have decided that I'm going to make the 2 hour drive down to San Diego in the next couple of weeks and do it.
Even if nothing comes of it at least I tired, right?! Well I tried short of hiring a P.I.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Australia Bound
If you follow my Twitter feed or my Facebook statuses you should know by now that I'm going to Melbourne, Australia. You should have also been able to conclude that I'm am absolutely ecstatic about going!
There are many reasons for me to be so dang excited! One is that it will be my first time out of the country. I haven't even had a passport until this month! My family aren't very big travelers. My mom and grandma go to Disneyworld every once and a while (although not since 2007) but that's the extent of the traveling that my immediate family really does. So I grew up thinking that no one went out of the country unless you were rolling in the dough. Now my mentality of it has changed... I mean if I still thought that way I wouldn't even entertain the idea of going out of the country!
I made a New Year's Resolution to go out of the country this year. So I'm actually doing it! When I made the goal I was a bit nervous. I didn't know if I was actually going to be able to pull it off. I mean it's a pretty lofty goal for someone who had recently incurred a lot of bills and such. I decided that if it came down to December and I still hadn't gone anywhere out of the country that I would just drive the 4 or 5 hours to Mexico and call it good and try for somewhere on a different continent next year.
Needless to say I knew I was never going to be satisfied doing it the easy way. So I made a plan. I recently started teaching private dance lessons and group lessons and was gaining revenue from that. After the first couple of privates I taught I decided to save the money I make from teaching, or dancing of any type, and put it specifically toward other dance related events. Well after deciding that I had the bright idea to make my out of country experience and my dance event experience coincide! (Brilliant I know!) Now the only question was where do I go??
Well I came to the conclusion of Australia because 1. a friend of mine (who knew of my goal to go out of the country) kept pushing me to go to Australia, 2. a swing dancing friend of mine that I met here in LA just recently moved to Melbourne, 3. I met a friendly awesome dancer from Melbourne, and 4. I found out (via my 2 previously mentioned swing dancing friends) that Melbourne has a lindy exchange in November.
I would love to go south of the equator where it's starting to warm up as we're starting to cool down up here on the north end of things! Now I know what you're thinking... "Karen you live in Los Angeles! It doesn't get cold in LA!" That's besides the point... it will get cold enough!
In short... I'm super stoked to be going to Melbourne from November 19th (arriving in Melbourne November 21st) to December 3rd!!!
If anyone has any suggestions on what I should do while I'm there let me know! I would love to hear everything you know!
There are many reasons for me to be so dang excited! One is that it will be my first time out of the country. I haven't even had a passport until this month! My family aren't very big travelers. My mom and grandma go to Disneyworld every once and a while (although not since 2007) but that's the extent of the traveling that my immediate family really does. So I grew up thinking that no one went out of the country unless you were rolling in the dough. Now my mentality of it has changed... I mean if I still thought that way I wouldn't even entertain the idea of going out of the country!
I made a New Year's Resolution to go out of the country this year. So I'm actually doing it! When I made the goal I was a bit nervous. I didn't know if I was actually going to be able to pull it off. I mean it's a pretty lofty goal for someone who had recently incurred a lot of bills and such. I decided that if it came down to December and I still hadn't gone anywhere out of the country that I would just drive the 4 or 5 hours to Mexico and call it good and try for somewhere on a different continent next year.
Needless to say I knew I was never going to be satisfied doing it the easy way. So I made a plan. I recently started teaching private dance lessons and group lessons and was gaining revenue from that. After the first couple of privates I taught I decided to save the money I make from teaching, or dancing of any type, and put it specifically toward other dance related events. Well after deciding that I had the bright idea to make my out of country experience and my dance event experience coincide! (Brilliant I know!) Now the only question was where do I go??
Well I came to the conclusion of Australia because 1. a friend of mine (who knew of my goal to go out of the country) kept pushing me to go to Australia, 2. a swing dancing friend of mine that I met here in LA just recently moved to Melbourne, 3. I met a friendly awesome dancer from Melbourne, and 4. I found out (via my 2 previously mentioned swing dancing friends) that Melbourne has a lindy exchange in November.
I would love to go south of the equator where it's starting to warm up as we're starting to cool down up here on the north end of things! Now I know what you're thinking... "Karen you live in Los Angeles! It doesn't get cold in LA!" That's besides the point... it will get cold enough!
In short... I'm super stoked to be going to Melbourne from November 19th (arriving in Melbourne November 21st) to December 3rd!!!
If anyone has any suggestions on what I should do while I'm there let me know! I would love to hear everything you know!
Monday, July 6, 2009
Enemy of the Public
Maybe you can, or maybe you can't, infer where the title of this post came from... just to make sure we're all on the same page; it is from the movie Public Enemy. I just saw it with my good friend Brendyn. First and foremost let me say that it was amazing! I absolutely LOVED it!
If you are SUPER anal about not giving ANYTHING away about a movie you might want to just skip to the end to read the summary of the blog post (last sentence).
My favorite part of the movie was the love story between John Dillinger and Billie Frechette. John is madly in love with Billie! I, being the hopeless romantic that I am, was captivated and transported to a realm of such devoted, undying, irresistible, unconditional love. It was fan-freaking-tastic!
I felt the bond was SO strong that I actually teared up and had a tear fall down my face. Now if you know me, you'll know that I just don't ever cry*... especially when it comes to movies. It made me long for that kind of relationship!
Not the one where it's just me that into the relationship, or just him that into the relationship, but one where we both are in love to the point of doing anything for each other. It's an easy thing to want in my mind. I mean really; who wouldn't want to always have someone to run to for whatever reason and know they will always be there no matter what?! That's what I hope to have one day!
Johnny Depp was SO great at portraying this chemistry. I know you're probably thinking, "uhh duh Karen, he's an actor he gets paid to make you believe he's in love with people all the time." BUT just because it's their profession, doesn't mean they do it seamlessly. His eyes said it all! If you watch the movie on mute and just look at the way Depp's eyes/face/body language are when he's with her you would get the same impression as you would with the sound on! Now THAT my friends is the hardest thing to do. For instance, Twilight has been deemed a great love story. The movie though didn't do the intense level of love between Bella and Edward justice. Those actors were definitely not as seasoned as Johnny.
AT ANY RATE, point being I love love, I want a connection and kinship one day that is enduring and never ending, and I appreciate actors who bring out the best of the love story!
If you are SUPER anal about not giving ANYTHING away about a movie you might want to just skip to the end to read the summary of the blog post (last sentence).
My favorite part of the movie was the love story between John Dillinger and Billie Frechette. John is madly in love with Billie! I, being the hopeless romantic that I am, was captivated and transported to a realm of such devoted, undying, irresistible, unconditional love. It was fan-freaking-tastic!
I felt the bond was SO strong that I actually teared up and had a tear fall down my face. Now if you know me, you'll know that I just don't ever cry*... especially when it comes to movies. It made me long for that kind of relationship!
Not the one where it's just me that into the relationship, or just him that into the relationship, but one where we both are in love to the point of doing anything for each other. It's an easy thing to want in my mind. I mean really; who wouldn't want to always have someone to run to for whatever reason and know they will always be there no matter what?! That's what I hope to have one day!
Johnny Depp was SO great at portraying this chemistry. I know you're probably thinking, "uhh duh Karen, he's an actor he gets paid to make you believe he's in love with people all the time." BUT just because it's their profession, doesn't mean they do it seamlessly. His eyes said it all! If you watch the movie on mute and just look at the way Depp's eyes/face/body language are when he's with her you would get the same impression as you would with the sound on! Now THAT my friends is the hardest thing to do. For instance, Twilight has been deemed a great love story. The movie though didn't do the intense level of love between Bella and Edward justice. Those actors were definitely not as seasoned as Johnny.
AT ANY RATE, point being I love love, I want a connection and kinship one day that is enduring and never ending, and I appreciate actors who bring out the best of the love story!
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Hopeless Romance
Today I was going through the stuff in my closet and I cam a cross a box full of a ton of mementos from when my dad was courting my mom. As I was looking through everything I started getting giddy and I was like a little school girl! I enjoyed it quite thoroughly.
I remember going through this box years ago and ever since then I've remembered a poem that my dad wrote for my mom. I found it again tonight. I'm going to share it now, because I figured I might as well... it's cute!
"It's written in pen, It started with a Kiss...
If you love me, honey, you answer just this!!!
Donna, I love you, So please be true.
Can't you tell by the things I do??
Your heart is like a lump of gold...
It's hard to get and hard to hold!!!
I once had a heart so warm and true,
But now it's gone from me to you!!!
Did you know that the Lord Above
Created you for me to love???
He picked you out from all the rest
Because he knew I'd like you best!!!
When I get to Heaven and see you're not there
I'll write your name on the Golden Stair
For all the angels to know how how much your love really means.
And if you're not there by the judgment day.
I'll know you went the other way!!!
I'll give the angels back their wings
Golden halos and all those things
And Just to prove my love is true
I'll go to hell to be with you."
-Jack Vizzard
I remember going through this box years ago and ever since then I've remembered a poem that my dad wrote for my mom. I found it again tonight. I'm going to share it now, because I figured I might as well... it's cute!
"It's written in pen, It started with a Kiss...
If you love me, honey, you answer just this!!!
Donna, I love you, So please be true.
Can't you tell by the things I do??
Your heart is like a lump of gold...
It's hard to get and hard to hold!!!
I once had a heart so warm and true,
But now it's gone from me to you!!!
Did you know that the Lord Above
Created you for me to love???
He picked you out from all the rest
Because he knew I'd like you best!!!
When I get to Heaven and see you're not there
I'll write your name on the Golden Stair
For all the angels to know how how much your love really means.
And if you're not there by the judgment day.
I'll know you went the other way!!!
I'll give the angels back their wings
Golden halos and all those things
And Just to prove my love is true
I'll go to hell to be with you."
-Jack Vizzard
Monday, June 8, 2009
I'll speak with you
I have recently met a very nice swing dancer from Australia. Being that he is from Australia it means he has a different accent and different mannerisms than what I'm used to when it comes to everyday speech. And I, being the observant person that I am, have noticed quite a few of them. For instance it's a car park... not a parking lot.
The one that really has stuck out though is whenever he talks about calling me or me calling him he always says "I'll speak with you..." Usually that wouldn't give anyone pause, but as we all know I'm a very unique individual. On the way home from dropping him off after dancing at Atomic I realized why I kept thinking about it!
I have always said/heard "I'll talk to you..." This is a one direction statement. It is the same as a note from high school, you write "TO:" and "From:" because in a note the person can't immediately reply to the person the note is from in the same form of the language. OR when you give a birthday present TO a person.
One of the dictionary definitions (the one that I felt applied best) of "to" is: "used as a function word to indicate movement or an action or condition suggestive of movement toward a place, person, or thing reached"
One of the dictionary definitions (the one that I felt applied best) of "with" is: "used as a function word to indicate combination, accompaniment, presence, or addition"
Keeping that in mind think about the statement, "I'll speak with you." I'm now being included. Isn't that one of the greatest human desires to be included?! When it was said to me it made me feel that I and what I had to say was just as important to him as himself or what he has to say. It is something that I haven't felt from a lot of people in my life.
I am just really impressed that a single word could technically change the meaning of a sentence to make it more respectful, more inclusive, and more friendly. I am even more impressed that people actually have another person's feelings (whether consciously or unconscious) in mind while saying something so simple as "I'll speak with you."
The one that really has stuck out though is whenever he talks about calling me or me calling him he always says "I'll speak with you..." Usually that wouldn't give anyone pause, but as we all know I'm a very unique individual. On the way home from dropping him off after dancing at Atomic I realized why I kept thinking about it!
I have always said/heard "I'll talk to you..." This is a one direction statement. It is the same as a note from high school, you write "TO:" and "From:" because in a note the person can't immediately reply to the person the note is from in the same form of the language. OR when you give a birthday present TO a person.
One of the dictionary definitions (the one that I felt applied best) of "to" is: "used as a function word to indicate movement or an action or condition suggestive of movement toward a place, person, or thing reached"
One of the dictionary definitions (the one that I felt applied best) of "with" is: "used as a function word to indicate combination, accompaniment, presence, or addition"
Keeping that in mind think about the statement, "I'll speak with you." I'm now being included. Isn't that one of the greatest human desires to be included?! When it was said to me it made me feel that I and what I had to say was just as important to him as himself or what he has to say. It is something that I haven't felt from a lot of people in my life.
I am just really impressed that a single word could technically change the meaning of a sentence to make it more respectful, more inclusive, and more friendly. I am even more impressed that people actually have another person's feelings (whether consciously or unconscious) in mind while saying something so simple as "I'll speak with you."
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
The Secret to Happiness
The other day I went over to my grandmother's house to drop off money and to check on her, you know, make sure everything is going alright. As we were talking she said to me "you're a lot happier now than you were when you first moved back from Utah."
This caused me to stop and think. I had a ton of thoughts/questions running through my mind. First, am I really happier, or is it just her perception? How can she tell that I'm happier? Why am I happier? How do I continue to be happy? How can I make myself even happier than I already am?!
I had to cut my visit with my grandma short because I had to get to work. The whole night at work I was racking my brain trying to answer all of these questions. I had a couple epiphanies!
First I realized I truly was happier. Dare I say the happiest I've been in my life (maybe just a very long time, but it feels like life). I don't know how my grandma was able to tell, but I'd like to think that it was because I was smiling from ear to ear.
Now we get down to the really important answers that I have yet to fully answer. Why am I happier? Well there are a few possibilities. So far I've attributed it mainly to dancing. I am not saying dancing wasn't awesome in Utah, but now I get to do it almost everyday and more opportunities are opening to me. Also because of dancing I am meeting amazing people that are helping me realize so many different things in many different facets of my life.
I also attribute my happiness to the sunshine. I have more time out in the sun here than I did when I was in Utah. I absolutely love it! It makes me happy (and tan, that's just an added bonus).
My conclusion? If you want to be extremely happy you should dance! I mean it seems to be the cure all for me!
This caused me to stop and think. I had a ton of thoughts/questions running through my mind. First, am I really happier, or is it just her perception? How can she tell that I'm happier? Why am I happier? How do I continue to be happy? How can I make myself even happier than I already am?!
I had to cut my visit with my grandma short because I had to get to work. The whole night at work I was racking my brain trying to answer all of these questions. I had a couple epiphanies!
First I realized I truly was happier. Dare I say the happiest I've been in my life (maybe just a very long time, but it feels like life). I don't know how my grandma was able to tell, but I'd like to think that it was because I was smiling from ear to ear.
Now we get down to the really important answers that I have yet to fully answer. Why am I happier? Well there are a few possibilities. So far I've attributed it mainly to dancing. I am not saying dancing wasn't awesome in Utah, but now I get to do it almost everyday and more opportunities are opening to me. Also because of dancing I am meeting amazing people that are helping me realize so many different things in many different facets of my life.
I also attribute my happiness to the sunshine. I have more time out in the sun here than I did when I was in Utah. I absolutely love it! It makes me happy (and tan, that's just an added bonus).
My conclusion? If you want to be extremely happy you should dance! I mean it seems to be the cure all for me!
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Resolution Update
> Get a Passport and go out of the country
> Read at least one book a month
> Eat Better
> Do a full body cleanse at least twice this year
> Exercise more regularly
> Save money
> Travel somewhere I haven't been in the United States
> Dance every chance I get
> Do well in school
> Grow my hair long
> Make more of an effort to be close to my immediate and extended family
Above is the list of New Year's Resolutions I have made. So far I feel I have been successful in a few areas.
> I have not yet bought a passport. I keep saying I'll do it tomorrow.. Trust me tomorrow will come.
>I have kept up on my reading... just barely though! I'm gonna work harder on that one!
>I have started to eat more fruits and vegetables which is awesome (I had cut out sodas, but I fell off the wagon and now I'm gonna start again).
>I have not done a full body cleanse... to tell you the truth I am kind of scared to after reading about them... so I may or may not do that one!
>I have started going dancing a lot more... which doesn't really count as exercise in my book, but it's better than sitting around all day. I am going to start frequenting the gym more often though.
>I saved some money since this was written. Definitely not enough, but I can do a better job at that too!
>I will be traveling to Minneapolis May 1st to the 3rd! Woohoo for being able to completely check one off!
>I have been dancing every chance I get it is awesome how much more I appreciate dance as an art form and as a hobby!
>I haven't been really good about going to class... and I keep saying to myself that I'm gonna do better, but I keep forgetting. So now I have to get my butt in gear!
>HA! my hair is still WAY short!! but that's because of all of the stuff I've done to it!
>Being close to my family is still a work in progress!
Monday, April 6, 2009
Incompleteness in Absence
I have recently started doing what most people around my age do. Try to find out "who they are." I know a few things about myself, that I have always known, and I've discovered new things that I hadn't really realized before!
One of the things that I realized is how I know I feel love or compassion toward one person. And the following quote describes it. This quote has been on my facebook profile page ever since I signed up for the blasted social networking site. The reason it ended up on there was because I didn't have any quotes to put in my favorite quotes section.
Now you may be thinking well that doesn't make much sense... if you didn't have any quotes how did you get this one? Well my friend the answer consists of 6 letters... GOOGLE! yes I googled Love quotes. This along wih many other came up. I chose a few of the most romantic ones and posted them to my facebook page.
There's the story, but let's get to the meat of this blog post. The quote and what actually going back and reading it has done for me!
I knew i felt love for people. The question now was how did I know I love people or how can i describe what it is to love someone. I feel this quote did a magnificent job of doing just that!
When I was in love the first time when I was with him I felt that we were two halves of a whole, peas in a pod, those heat friendship medallions fused together... I could go on and on. When that love was lost I felt like incomplete. I felt that a huge part of the puzzle had been taken away.
As a result of that heart break I am kind of scared to admit that I could possibly be falling for someone again. This is what I have been dealing with recently. Nothing different from anyone else. It's just prevalent in my thinking recently, as you can tell.
I was talking to a very dear friend of mine tonight, he helped me realize a few things that I've always believed, but haven't been practicing. One of my favorite Marilyn Monroe quotes says "... If you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best..." The same can be said in any type of relationship. If you aren't willing to wait out and work through the bad in a relationship you don't deserve the best that the relationship could be.
I feel this post is kind of all over the place and that maybe I should stop while I'm ahead, if I am even still ahead. The problem is the wheels in my head are still turning. I'm "thinking... a dangerous past time... I know" (whoever can name the movie gets extra points).
Hopefully I will be able to stop the wheels long enough to get some shut eye.
One of the things that I realized is how I know I feel love or compassion toward one person. And the following quote describes it. This quote has been on my facebook profile page ever since I signed up for the blasted social networking site. The reason it ended up on there was because I didn't have any quotes to put in my favorite quotes section.
Now you may be thinking well that doesn't make much sense... if you didn't have any quotes how did you get this one? Well my friend the answer consists of 6 letters... GOOGLE! yes I googled Love quotes. This along wih many other came up. I chose a few of the most romantic ones and posted them to my facebook page.
There's the story, but let's get to the meat of this blog post. The quote and what actually going back and reading it has done for me!
Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists. When we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are incomplete like a book in two volumes of which the first has been lost. That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence.
-Edmond and Jules de Goncourt
I knew i felt love for people. The question now was how did I know I love people or how can i describe what it is to love someone. I feel this quote did a magnificent job of doing just that!
When I was in love the first time when I was with him I felt that we were two halves of a whole, peas in a pod, those heat friendship medallions fused together... I could go on and on. When that love was lost I felt like incomplete. I felt that a huge part of the puzzle had been taken away.
As a result of that heart break I am kind of scared to admit that I could possibly be falling for someone again. This is what I have been dealing with recently. Nothing different from anyone else. It's just prevalent in my thinking recently, as you can tell.
I was talking to a very dear friend of mine tonight, he helped me realize a few things that I've always believed, but haven't been practicing. One of my favorite Marilyn Monroe quotes says "... If you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best..." The same can be said in any type of relationship. If you aren't willing to wait out and work through the bad in a relationship you don't deserve the best that the relationship could be.
I feel this post is kind of all over the place and that maybe I should stop while I'm ahead, if I am even still ahead. The problem is the wheels in my head are still turning. I'm "thinking... a dangerous past time... I know" (whoever can name the movie gets extra points).
Hopefully I will be able to stop the wheels long enough to get some shut eye.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Dancing Bio
I was sooo excited about this that I just had to post it! Thanks to Morgan Day's creative writing he made what I wrote even better! Here is the final product!
Up-and-coming dancer, Karen Vizzard, first became enamored with Lindy Hop in 2003, when she was introduced to the dance at a Big Bad Voodoo Daddy concert in Santa Monica. Since then, she has dedicated herself to become an exceptional follow, as well as a versatile dancer with experience in Balboa, Collegiate Shag, and Solo and Partnered Charleston. Her competition experience includes, placing 1st in Utah’s 2007 Invitation Lindy Hop Jack & Jill, 2nd Place in the Pure Balboa Division at the 2008 San Francisco Balboa Battle, and 4th place in the Collegiate Shag Division at The National Jitterbug Championship in 2009. While attending school in Utah, Karen was a Lindy Hop instructor at Utah State and the University of Utah, and coached the Swing Team at Brigham Young University. Her other credits include performing with the Hollywood Hotshots, as well as being cast as a dancer in Katy Perry's music video "Thinking of You" and being cast as a principal dancer for the episode “Static” on the TV show “Cold Case.”
Saturday, March 28, 2009
A Little Like Tiffany
For the first time ever I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's. I've been putting it off so long because I wanted to read the book first! Unfortunately, I kept forgetting to start reading the book. Today I said, "Forget it! I'm watching it!"
The first thing I have to say is it was a GREAT movie! I love it! This movie just re-affirmed my love/hate relationship for Audrey Hepburn! I love her because she's gorgeous and talented, I hate her because she's gorgeous and talented!
The reason I'm blogging is not to tell you that this movie is fantastic and that I think everyone should watch it (which I do believe), but there was a quote that was said that really stuck out to me. So much that I actually went and googled the memorable quotes of the movie, found it, and copy/pasted it to my favorite quotes section in Facebook! So here it is...
Quick background: Paul, who is madly in love with Holly, is getting out of cab saying this to her as a result of her wanting to run away to Brazil even after her future President of Brazil dumped her.
"You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, 'Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness.' You call yourself a free spirit, a 'wild thing,' and you're terrified somebody's gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself."
-Paul Varjak (Breakfast at Tiffany's)
I just thought to myself, "Wow." I think we can all relate to that in some way. I, for one, think that I'm very close to Holy in the fact that I'm scared of love. I call my self a hopeless romantic, which is true, but I'm scared of falling in love. I always dream of finding the man of my dreams falling in love and living happily ever after. Often times I say, "that's just a dream." I have seen far too many things not to be guarded in some way against the cage that love sometimes brings with it.
I was one that was already in a cage. I wasn't allowing myself to live life to the fullest and take advantage of the things life had to offer me. I had my heart broken and was scared that someone else would do the same. So I used the same excuses. I'm not going to fall for anyone, they're just gonna hold me down, I'm a free spirit, blah blah blah! Luckily I realized love is a part of life, life is a part of love.
Now, I'm not saying I'm in love and I'm not saying that me watching "Breakfast at Tiffany's" was the life changing experience, but it helped me remember what had been going on and what change had happened in my life! It was just pretty neat that I could relate to a movie Audrey Hepburn was in!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Waiting
I'm sure most of the people that know me know that I am a server. I wait tables at a small family owned business called The Pizza Cookery. I love working there! It is a really nice chill laid back job. I love the people I work with, I love the food, and I love that I actually have a job when so many people don't!
Although I love my job I also HATE it at times! Since it is a small restaurant we have many "regulars" that come in at least once or twice a week. Most of them are friendly and nice, which is great, but there are those that expect just because they eat there once a week you should bend over backwards for them. I mean just short of putting a bib on them and spoon feeding them.
This blog is for all of those out there who go into restaurants and make a server's night a living hell... I'm going to make a list of things most servers hate, so we can all learn from it! (The list may grow as time goes on.) And by all means if you have anything to add say it... I'll most likely put it down on the list!
Most servers hate....
---> When there is a bright pink sign right in front as you walk in that says "Please Wait to be Seated" and you seat yourself, then proceed to get mad when you are not gotten to right away.
---> If a server comes to the table and asks if everything is alright you just sit and stare at him/her.
---> When you see a server is pre-busing your table and his/her hands are full but you decide to keep piling the dishes up on what he/she already has in his/her hands.
---> If a server comes up to your table and asks if you need anything, and you need a refill, you shake your empty glass instead of using your words.
---> When you yell across the restaurant for anything, especially when he/she was just at your table and asked you if you needed anything.
---> When you get GREAT service and you only tip 10%.
---> When you don't leave a tip for good service, and on top of that you make a game out of it and put a smiley face on the tip line of the credit card receipt.
---> When you lower the tip you give because you were not impressed with the food. (The servers didn't make your food for crying out loud!)
---> When it is FREEZING outside and you sit with the front door of the restaurant open for a long time waiting for your slow party behind you.
---> When you just sit there and talk for more than 30 minutes after you finish your meal.
---> If you walk in 10 minutes before the restaurant closes.
---> When you talk down to them as if they don't understand what you're saying. (Most servers are going to school and have more education than most of the rude people that do this.)
---> If you ask for free bread refills 3 or 4 times and all you order is a water and the cheapest thing on the menu.
Although I love my job I also HATE it at times! Since it is a small restaurant we have many "regulars" that come in at least once or twice a week. Most of them are friendly and nice, which is great, but there are those that expect just because they eat there once a week you should bend over backwards for them. I mean just short of putting a bib on them and spoon feeding them.
This blog is for all of those out there who go into restaurants and make a server's night a living hell... I'm going to make a list of things most servers hate, so we can all learn from it! (The list may grow as time goes on.) And by all means if you have anything to add say it... I'll most likely put it down on the list!
Most servers hate....
---> When there is a bright pink sign right in front as you walk in that says "Please Wait to be Seated" and you seat yourself, then proceed to get mad when you are not gotten to right away.
---> If a server comes to the table and asks if everything is alright you just sit and stare at him/her.
---> When you see a server is pre-busing your table and his/her hands are full but you decide to keep piling the dishes up on what he/she already has in his/her hands.
---> If a server comes up to your table and asks if you need anything, and you need a refill, you shake your empty glass instead of using your words.
---> When you yell across the restaurant for anything, especially when he/she was just at your table and asked you if you needed anything.
---> When you get GREAT service and you only tip 10%.
---> When you don't leave a tip for good service, and on top of that you make a game out of it and put a smiley face on the tip line of the credit card receipt.
---> When you lower the tip you give because you were not impressed with the food. (The servers didn't make your food for crying out loud!)
---> When it is FREEZING outside and you sit with the front door of the restaurant open for a long time waiting for your slow party behind you.
---> When you just sit there and talk for more than 30 minutes after you finish your meal.
---> If you walk in 10 minutes before the restaurant closes.
---> When you talk down to them as if they don't understand what you're saying. (Most servers are going to school and have more education than most of the rude people that do this.)
---> If you ask for free bread refills 3 or 4 times and all you order is a water and the cheapest thing on the menu.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Ski Adventure!
Yesterday I went Skiing for the second time in my life!
For only my second time I have to say I was really proud of myself for doing so well. I felt I was doing better and in more control by the end of the day. But that was only the end of the day... you may be wondering what happened at the beginning of the day.
First Tim, Sarah, Brian, and I all woke up and had breakfast (some were more awake than others). Next we all got our snow gear on, got the car all loaded up, and went to buy lift passes and ski/snowboard rentals.
On our way up to Solitude I fell asleep. Therefore, I don't remember much of the ride. I'm sure it was a good one though.
We finally get to the mountain! It was a beautiful warm day! we all get our gear on and start heading to the lift. The first run we do is the bunny hill... which was good, because it gave me the chance to refresh my memory and remember how to kind of ski.
Tim and Sarah then decided I was ready for a more advanced run. I was pumped and excited! All 4 of us went got on a different lift and started down. It was good... I fell once and Tim sprayed me with snow as negative reinforcement. :/
The next run all four of us start out together. Half way down the run Brian gets separated from us. we just continue the run hoping to see him down at the bottom. He wasn't there. Tim, Sarah, and I then head back up the lift to the top of the run to see if he went a different way. we get to the spot where the run forks. I look down the steep hill and almost peed my pants. But I figured they're going to make me go down so here we go!
Almost immediately I gain WAY too much speed and loose control. The next thing I know I'm on my knees getting asked my a person right next to me if I'm ok. I didn't even know what was going on. Apparently I spoke just a little too soon when I told that guy that I was fine. My head started POUNDING and my neck hurt. it was a no bueno time. I look up the hill to see Tim and Sarah gathering all of my belongings.
When I say all I mean ALL!! I lost both of my skis, both poles, my hat, and my goggles. Luckily I managed to keep my gloves on. After lunch boy and girls separated, Sarah and I went down to the resort rental shop to borrowed a helmet. It didn't do much good to get that because the rest of the day I was still a big pansy.
After Sarah and I did a few runs ourselves we decided to go back and conquer the hill that I "yard saled" on. And yes that time I got down that hill without any problem and it was amazing!
It was almost 4 and we didn't have enough time for another run so Sarah and I head back to the car to meet the boys. We get there and Tim is the only one there. Brian ended up getting lost and had to hike out... it wasn't very fun for him, but he finally made it to a lodge about a mile down the road from the Solitude resort (if you want to know about that story... you'll have to ask him).
At the end of the day I had an amazing time and want to ski more now! Today my head still hurts and I can't move my neck at all, but I think it was well worth it!
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Saturday Night In!
Yes I'm at home on a saturday night!! It may sound lame, and probably is, but I would just like to say that I don't really care that it is socially weird to stay in on a weekend night.
I mean really what gets better than sitting next to a roaring fire watching "Wallace & Gromit Three Amazing Adventures" and reading 1984?! (That was not a serious question mind you... I know there are plenty of other things that are better options)
I have to admit it is definitely nice though. I'm tired after the whole week of working and dancing. Since Saturdays are my only days off I think I have a bit of a right to stay in and have a nice and quiet night to myself. Don't you agree?
My night has consisted of Facebooking, realizing that I just got Walace and Gromit in the mail today and immediately decided to watch it with a fire going, eating ice cream and now writing a blog about my uneventful night. After I have posted this I'm going to read a bit more of 1984 and then who knows?! Knowing the party animal I'm being tonight I'll probably go to bed! Look at me go!!
Hope everyone enjoyed their Saturday night whatever it was you ended up doing!!
I mean really what gets better than sitting next to a roaring fire watching "Wallace & Gromit Three Amazing Adventures" and reading 1984?! (That was not a serious question mind you... I know there are plenty of other things that are better options)
I have to admit it is definitely nice though. I'm tired after the whole week of working and dancing. Since Saturdays are my only days off I think I have a bit of a right to stay in and have a nice and quiet night to myself. Don't you agree?
My night has consisted of Facebooking, realizing that I just got Walace and Gromit in the mail today and immediately decided to watch it with a fire going, eating ice cream and now writing a blog about my uneventful night. After I have posted this I'm going to read a bit more of 1984 and then who knows?! Knowing the party animal I'm being tonight I'll probably go to bed! Look at me go!!
Hope everyone enjoyed their Saturday night whatever it was you ended up doing!!
Friday, January 23, 2009
Emotional Wreck!
There are a TON of things I am feeling/thinking right now! I can not even really begin to describe them all! Although, I can say that all the emotions are building up too much. I am starting to break.
O.K. O.K. Maybe Emotional Wreck is too strong of a title for this post, but that's the best thing I can do to come close to expressing what I'm feeling.
I try to be the happy-go-lucky person all the time. Typically speaking I'm really good at doing it. I mean I'm a server, I have learned how to put on a happy face even though someone is a complete and utter a**, so it's easy.
Mind you I'm not complaining.
I am just getting to the point where I think I need a good cry. Which is amazing for me to say. I absolutely LOATHE crying. It's probably the worst thing I have ever experienced! It makes you tired and you look like crap afterward, and EVERYONE can see your emotions! I am not one to tell people I'm going through a hard time. I have the select few that I talk and share these secrets with (I'm sure you can figure out who you are). Certain life experiences have made me a very guarded person.
This may seem insane to those of you who have talked to me... I don't mind sharing every detail about events or my experiences. I can talk anyone's ear off about myself and what I've been through. BUT I rarely ever talk about how I feel or that I'm in trouble.
At any rate, the point is it is becoming a lot for me to handle and I just needed to get that off of my chest! Now I feel a TON better!
O.K. O.K. Maybe Emotional Wreck is too strong of a title for this post, but that's the best thing I can do to come close to expressing what I'm feeling.
I try to be the happy-go-lucky person all the time. Typically speaking I'm really good at doing it. I mean I'm a server, I have learned how to put on a happy face even though someone is a complete and utter a**, so it's easy.
Mind you I'm not complaining.
I am just getting to the point where I think I need a good cry. Which is amazing for me to say. I absolutely LOATHE crying. It's probably the worst thing I have ever experienced! It makes you tired and you look like crap afterward, and EVERYONE can see your emotions! I am not one to tell people I'm going through a hard time. I have the select few that I talk and share these secrets with (I'm sure you can figure out who you are). Certain life experiences have made me a very guarded person.
This may seem insane to those of you who have talked to me... I don't mind sharing every detail about events or my experiences. I can talk anyone's ear off about myself and what I've been through. BUT I rarely ever talk about how I feel or that I'm in trouble.
At any rate, the point is it is becoming a lot for me to handle and I just needed to get that off of my chest! Now I feel a TON better!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
American Sign Language in a Music Video
Two things that I absolutely love have come together! Sia in her music video for her song "Soon We'll be Found" is signing and singing the song!
At times the signing is hard to see, but the way the signing is used in the video is amazing! what they do with different colors and black lights is inspiring. It makes me want to pursue a few ideas that I have had!
Watch it it's amazing!
(Unfortunately I couldn't find one that had the embedding option)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNqb17aR3Nc
At times the signing is hard to see, but the way the signing is used in the video is amazing! what they do with different colors and black lights is inspiring. It makes me want to pursue a few ideas that I have had!
Watch it it's amazing!
(Unfortunately I couldn't find one that had the embedding option)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNqb17aR3Nc
Friday, January 2, 2009
My Walk for Autism!
What am I doing?
I am participating in a Walk for Autism and I have made a personal goal to raise $300 to donate to finding a cure/raising awareness of Autism!
Why am I doing this?
The reason I am donating my time and effort to this cause isn't because this disorder plagues my own family. It is because I have worked with those with severe autism to those who are very high functioning autistic through out high school. I even taught a little boy in Sunday School at church for a year who is Autistic (Dallin, he is the person the team I joined is in honor of).
Facts:
Autism is the second most common developmental disorder in the United States affecting one in every 150 children born today. Despite some promising discoveries, the cause of autism is unknown and a cure does not exist. Research is crucial. Every 20 minutes another child is diagnosed with autism.
How you can help!
Please join me in my fight to make a difference in the lives of the more than 1 million Americans living with autism today.
Donations are tax deductible to the fullest extent allowed by law.
Autism Speaks 501 (C)(3) Tax Id #: 20-2329938
You can donate by CLICKING HERE.
Or you can copy and paste this link into your browser: http://www.walknowforautism.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=288321&u=288321-244270513
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