This last weekend was Camp Hollywood. I had been looking forward to this weekend all year!! I was super stoked about it! Everything went really well. Morgan and I competed in Shag and Shaheed and I competed in the Amateur Lindy division. We placed 4th in the Lindy competition. If any of you follow my twitter account you would have noticed that I was SUPER upset Sunday night. I believe the tweet was that I had just had the worst experience of my life.
At any rate, I seriously did have the WORST experience of my life!! One of my really good friends (who happened to.be someone whose opinion I hold very high) was the meanest anyone has ever been to me. I went from wanting to choreograph routines, wanting to get a team (or two) together, and work on my dancing for competitions... to not even wanting to think about dancing ever again!
This person told me that my dancing has gotten way worse since I moved away and that people were talking about how bad it had gotten. This person then proceeded to tell me that they were down to work with me and be partners, but now I don't have my things in order, my dancing isn't on the level, and that they don't want to work together anymore.
I stood there speechless trying to blink back the tears. I mean having someone you are good friends with come and tell you that you suck at what you've dedicated the last 7 years of your life to... not only that you suck, but that you used to be good, but now you've become bad at it. I felt so small and worthless.
I didn't even dance once that night at Camp Hollywood. It was the last night of the event I had been looking forward to for 7 months, my last chance to say goodbye to people before we all went our separate ways, but instead of dancing and having a good night I sat on a couch in a hallway at the LAX Marriott with Dabney balling my eyes out. Even thinking about it now is making me tear up.
It was awful and I hated every minute of the whole experience. No one should ever have to go through that... EVER! I have never experienced a 180 before that moment and I haven't really been able to shake the desire to quit dancing all together.
I love dancing, and I know it is silly to base my feelings, desires, and ideas off of someone else's opinion, but there are some things in life I just can't help... and this is one of them.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Call Me Crazy!
Yeah, yeah , yeah... what's new? Everyone calls me crazy all the time... this isn't anything out of the ordinary... so why am I posting?! Well, other than giving the world another beautiful bit of my brain to read for their pleasure (or torture... however you look at it), I have come to this forum to express an opinion.
I have always been of the opinion that everyone should put in their fair share of work. Mind you I'm not saying that delegation isn't a wonderful thing. I mean although you may be delegating your workload... you're still doing work by delegating. Delegating is probably the hardest part of doing anything!! So kudos to all delegators! I'm talking about selling yourself... and no, I'm not talkin' prostitution.
Any small business that a person is starting has to promote themselves. Thanks to the WORLD WIDE WEB promoting one's self has become even easier!
(I had typed the "background" section and deleted it then retyped and deleted it about 5 or 6 times now. SO... I'm just going to cut to the chase without any back story.)
I don't feel I should promote or try to get people to use your services if you are clearly not doing anything to promote yourself. Also I'm not going to promote you if you use the same name as something else in the area (meaning not area specific things IE not "_____ on Main" or "Sun devil _____" Or "Valley _______").
You know how McDonalds says price and participation may vary.... well having the same name would be like being a McDonalds franchise and not participating in anything, your mascot would be Hippy the Hippo and you'd serve spaghetti.
At any rate... I have found some people want something for nothing. Too bad they aren't going to get it from me.
Ok... /crazy-b****-rant
I have always been of the opinion that everyone should put in their fair share of work. Mind you I'm not saying that delegation isn't a wonderful thing. I mean although you may be delegating your workload... you're still doing work by delegating. Delegating is probably the hardest part of doing anything!! So kudos to all delegators! I'm talking about selling yourself... and no, I'm not talkin' prostitution.
Any small business that a person is starting has to promote themselves. Thanks to the WORLD WIDE WEB promoting one's self has become even easier!
(I had typed the "background" section and deleted it then retyped and deleted it about 5 or 6 times now. SO... I'm just going to cut to the chase without any back story.)
I don't feel I should promote or try to get people to use your services if you are clearly not doing anything to promote yourself. Also I'm not going to promote you if you use the same name as something else in the area (meaning not area specific things IE not "_____ on Main" or "Sun devil _____" Or "Valley _______").
You know how McDonalds says price and participation may vary.... well having the same name would be like being a McDonalds franchise and not participating in anything, your mascot would be Hippy the Hippo and you'd serve spaghetti.
At any rate... I have found some people want something for nothing. Too bad they aren't going to get it from me.
Ok... /crazy-b****-rant
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Teaching
As most of you know since moving out to Phoenix I've started teaching and actually being a part of the whole "behind the scenes" business that has to happen to make the dances, lessons, etc. work. It has been an amazing experience! I have learned some pretty interesting things as a result and am still learning!
Not everyone will understand what you are saying... Therefore I need to be able to explain things in a bunch of different ways. I haven't always been the best at this. In the past few years after being put into different teaching situations I have learned how to explain things differently.
I pay attention to detail more while I'm dancing. I want to be able to explain every little detail I feel/see/know when I'm teaching something. And I'm most likely going to teach something I already do it actually helps to pay attention to every single dance I have... even the dances with the newbies... probably even more so with the newbies.
I have learned how not to teach... well partly how not to teach. I still need work on that one. I have gone to beginning/intermediate lessons and watched those and participated because I want to see different teaching styles and I want to make a well rounded decision on what works and what doesn't. I think that's a pretty good route to go.
I do still need a ton of improvement as a teacher. If any teachers out there... whether you a teacher of dancing or not... if you have any wise old wisdom to impart on a grasshopper I will gladly accept!
Not everyone will understand what you are saying... Therefore I need to be able to explain things in a bunch of different ways. I haven't always been the best at this. In the past few years after being put into different teaching situations I have learned how to explain things differently.
I pay attention to detail more while I'm dancing. I want to be able to explain every little detail I feel/see/know when I'm teaching something. And I'm most likely going to teach something I already do it actually helps to pay attention to every single dance I have... even the dances with the newbies... probably even more so with the newbies.
I have learned how not to teach... well partly how not to teach. I still need work on that one. I have gone to beginning/intermediate lessons and watched those and participated because I want to see different teaching styles and I want to make a well rounded decision on what works and what doesn't. I think that's a pretty good route to go.
I do still need a ton of improvement as a teacher. If any teachers out there... whether you a teacher of dancing or not... if you have any wise old wisdom to impart on a grasshopper I will gladly accept!
Updated
I am not the greatest blog poster... or twitter-er... especially when I'm actually having a blast and am loving what I'm doing. Blogging and twitter are mainly for the hum drum boring moments in my day, which are few and far between.
Well What am I up to out here in the "valley of the sun"? Well here it goes!
The job I initially moved out here for has had a few set backs due to mail not getting to me in time. BUT I have the opportunity to turn it around and start the hiring process again. So I will be getting back on track with it and make sure it goes through this time.
I worked at a call center for 2 days... it was a means to an end job... just to get some fund-age, but ended up being the shadiest company I've ever seen. So with that knowledge I left my second day in the office regretting the possibility that I may come back for a 3rd day. When my alarm went off on the 3rd day at 5:30am I decided that I couldn't work for a company that wouldn't even tell it's own employees where their funding came from. Especially when I got in trouble the day before for telling someone too much information, in all reality I didn't tell them any information at all. They still had a TON of questions regarding the company and our "services" BUT I was told that I couldn't answer any of them. Weird, huh?!
SO in the mean time I've only been working as a professional dancer with Dabs, while submitting applications and resumes at different places. I've actually loved being a dance instructor. I think I'll write another blog post about being an instructor and all that goes with it... just a heads up. I mean although it is 3 in the morning I'm not tired at all!
I live with two dogs, Basie and Jane. They are about the cutest dogs ever. Super nice and friendly and oh boy do they love to cuddle Oh and they love to lick. Basie will try to lick whatever he can get his tongue on. Jane on the other hand will only "go for the gold," she will only lick at your mouth or eyes or ears. What I love about them is they aren't the annoying type of dogs that come in and wake you up when you're sleeping just because they are up and want to play. They wait until you are up to start annoying you. ;)
Dabs and I are doing great! We definitely make a great team! It's awesome and there is no one in the world I'd rather be a team with. Except maybe Darkwing Duck... *heavy sigh* if only he were real... Then Dabs might have to worry. lol. Dabs and I have been teaching together and running the dances together recently and it's been loads of fun! I am starting to get more involved in things which is really awesome because I totally want to get more involved and set things in motion. I have an amazing drive and goals and I am finally starting to see some of them play out. We'll see what ends up happening! It's exciting to think about!
It rained here tonight... which for people that have normal cars is not a big deal... But my car is not normal. As soon as I realized that it was rain outside I was hearing I ran outside and tried to get everything that could get ruined by the rain over to the other side of my car. See on the passenger side of my car the doors don't shut all the way... and rain, pine needles, pieces of trash enter my car undetected. Making rain a bit of an issue for my car. This experience has probably been the most stressful one since moving out here... Making it noteworthy.
Well as far as that goes I think I'm pretty much done with the little mini update on my life. I know for a MINI update it's pretty long... but hey it could be longer! ciao!
Well What am I up to out here in the "valley of the sun"? Well here it goes!
The job I initially moved out here for has had a few set backs due to mail not getting to me in time. BUT I have the opportunity to turn it around and start the hiring process again. So I will be getting back on track with it and make sure it goes through this time.
I worked at a call center for 2 days... it was a means to an end job... just to get some fund-age, but ended up being the shadiest company I've ever seen. So with that knowledge I left my second day in the office regretting the possibility that I may come back for a 3rd day. When my alarm went off on the 3rd day at 5:30am I decided that I couldn't work for a company that wouldn't even tell it's own employees where their funding came from. Especially when I got in trouble the day before for telling someone too much information, in all reality I didn't tell them any information at all. They still had a TON of questions regarding the company and our "services" BUT I was told that I couldn't answer any of them. Weird, huh?!
SO in the mean time I've only been working as a professional dancer with Dabs, while submitting applications and resumes at different places. I've actually loved being a dance instructor. I think I'll write another blog post about being an instructor and all that goes with it... just a heads up. I mean although it is 3 in the morning I'm not tired at all!
I live with two dogs, Basie and Jane. They are about the cutest dogs ever. Super nice and friendly and oh boy do they love to cuddle Oh and they love to lick. Basie will try to lick whatever he can get his tongue on. Jane on the other hand will only "go for the gold," she will only lick at your mouth or eyes or ears. What I love about them is they aren't the annoying type of dogs that come in and wake you up when you're sleeping just because they are up and want to play. They wait until you are up to start annoying you. ;)
Dabs and I are doing great! We definitely make a great team! It's awesome and there is no one in the world I'd rather be a team with. Except maybe Darkwing Duck... *heavy sigh* if only he were real... Then Dabs might have to worry. lol. Dabs and I have been teaching together and running the dances together recently and it's been loads of fun! I am starting to get more involved in things which is really awesome because I totally want to get more involved and set things in motion. I have an amazing drive and goals and I am finally starting to see some of them play out. We'll see what ends up happening! It's exciting to think about!
It rained here tonight... which for people that have normal cars is not a big deal... But my car is not normal. As soon as I realized that it was rain outside I was hearing I ran outside and tried to get everything that could get ruined by the rain over to the other side of my car. See on the passenger side of my car the doors don't shut all the way... and rain, pine needles, pieces of trash enter my car undetected. Making rain a bit of an issue for my car. This experience has probably been the most stressful one since moving out here... Making it noteworthy.
Well as far as that goes I think I'm pretty much done with the little mini update on my life. I know for a MINI update it's pretty long... but hey it could be longer! ciao!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
No Prevaricating Here
I started this post about a month ago and never finished it. Lol.
There's no use prevaricating around the bush... I am happy and in love. I never really thought that it could ever truly happen after my first real heart break. Because of that thinking I made some pretty dumb choices, which have hurt myself and others in the process... always fun. NOT! (yes that was a throw back to the 90's!)
I have been in Arizona for a month and a half and have spent everyday with Dabs... I can seriously say that I am more in love with him now than I was when I moved out here!
It's amazing the end!
There's no use prevaricating around the bush... I am happy and in love. I never really thought that it could ever truly happen after my first real heart break. Because of that thinking I made some pretty dumb choices, which have hurt myself and others in the process... always fun. NOT! (yes that was a throw back to the 90's!)
I have been in Arizona for a month and a half and have spent everyday with Dabs... I can seriously say that I am more in love with him now than I was when I moved out here!
It's amazing the end!
Monday, April 19, 2010
Announcement!!! It's a Girl!
Okay... I admit it... I'm not pregnant, but I bet it grabbed your attention right?!
Although the "it's a girl" part is incorrect I do have a pretty big announcement to make. You ready?!
I'm saying, "peace out, LA! I'm outta here!"
Where am I going you ask? Well it's elementary, my dear Watson. Phoenix, of course! I recently have been cleared to work with Autistic children with a company called H.O.P.E. Group AZ. The company provides respite and rehabilitation care for Autistic individuals in Arizona. Since that's what I want to do with myself as a career I thought I might as well get a head start in the field!
When is this big move going to happen?? May 1st! BUT depending on certain work situations I may decide to bump it up to April 30th... if everything works out. It's super close and I'm getting super excited!
I can't wait to start a new chapter in my life! I'm super scared and nervous about being in a completely different place, starting a new job, and trying to figure everything out (again)... BUT I'm so glad that I'll have the support of all my family and friends out there! I can't help but feel that this is a step in the right direction, whatever that direction might end up being!
Although the "it's a girl" part is incorrect I do have a pretty big announcement to make. You ready?!
I'm saying, "peace out, LA! I'm outta here!"
Where am I going you ask? Well it's elementary, my dear Watson. Phoenix, of course! I recently have been cleared to work with Autistic children with a company called H.O.P.E. Group AZ. The company provides respite and rehabilitation care for Autistic individuals in Arizona. Since that's what I want to do with myself as a career I thought I might as well get a head start in the field!
When is this big move going to happen?? May 1st! BUT depending on certain work situations I may decide to bump it up to April 30th... if everything works out. It's super close and I'm getting super excited!
I can't wait to start a new chapter in my life! I'm super scared and nervous about being in a completely different place, starting a new job, and trying to figure everything out (again)... BUT I'm so glad that I'll have the support of all my family and friends out there! I can't help but feel that this is a step in the right direction, whatever that direction might end up being!
Accidental Agony
Friends are one of the most important groups in my life. Without my friends I would only be a shell of the person I am today. Friends have been the ones that have helped me through the roughest and the happiest times in my life . I love my friends dearly and want nothing to ever hurt them or harm them in any way, shape, or form.
I know that thinking nothing would ever hurt or harm my friends is wishful, so I don't ever think that. I at least thought that I would be the last one to cause them the heart ache or the pain.
Recently a really close friend of mine and I have drifted apart. Not because of anything anyone intentionally did, but it happened nonetheless. We were both living life with our own little internal struggles. Well when I shared, what I thought to be, a happy announcement it tore this friend apart. There was no personal attack involved or backstabbing or anything to that affect. It was completely different than any other situation I had dealt with before. This friend told me they needed space and so I have respected that and given them space.
In the process of giving this friend space I'm beginning to feel the loss of a true friend and am beginning to realize what heart ache I have caused. It makes me sad to think that I could have done that. It was no fault of my own, I am just doing what I feel is best for me.
In the end I know we all "gotta do what we gotta do," and if that means space or time apart or not even being friends anymore I will have to deal. I just wish it hurt a little less.
I know that thinking nothing would ever hurt or harm my friends is wishful, so I don't ever think that. I at least thought that I would be the last one to cause them the heart ache or the pain.
Recently a really close friend of mine and I have drifted apart. Not because of anything anyone intentionally did, but it happened nonetheless. We were both living life with our own little internal struggles. Well when I shared, what I thought to be, a happy announcement it tore this friend apart. There was no personal attack involved or backstabbing or anything to that affect. It was completely different than any other situation I had dealt with before. This friend told me they needed space and so I have respected that and given them space.
In the process of giving this friend space I'm beginning to feel the loss of a true friend and am beginning to realize what heart ache I have caused. It makes me sad to think that I could have done that. It was no fault of my own, I am just doing what I feel is best for me.
In the end I know we all "gotta do what we gotta do," and if that means space or time apart or not even being friends anymore I will have to deal. I just wish it hurt a little less.
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