It is hard to believe that in my 24 years of life I can say that I have not had a SINGLE Un-merry Christmas. Everyone has to have one right? Well, I guess my time has come and this is going be my first Un-merry Christmas.
Why? This will be my first Christmas without my mother. She passed away recently from liver complications due to pancreatic cancer. My mother was such an integral part of the holidays; she did ALL of the decorating, ALL of the gift buying, ALL of the wrapping, and baked the cookies for santa (I guess my dad helped too... He ate the cookies to make it look like Santa had been there). My mother was the reason the season was SO INCREDIBLY special in our household growing up. To not have her around during probably one of her (and my) favorite holidays is something I've been putting off thinking about for as long as I could.... Afterall, It is after all only 4 days away now (and might I add the world hasn't ended).
This year as the Christmas season approached I began to dread it. I didn't want to have anything to do with it. Everything seemed to remind me of my mother and all I could think about was how much I missed her. Reluctantly, I minimally helped Dabney put up Christmas lights, helped take out some Christmas boxes, and wrapped presents.
As I sat on the couch today I realized the last couple of days I have looked at things a bit differently. The last few days hadn't been completely, "I hate this I miss my mom!!!!" I've started realizing all of the things she found joy in this holiday season and started taking joy in them too.
That thought made me happy. Sharing hobbies/interests with each other is something my mom loved.
It also reminded me of an email I had received from a friend just after the initial news of my mom. He shared a story of a friend he had lost to cancer, how it was difficult to deal with, but how he can now find joy in using the possessions his friend gave him. It is his way of celebrating the times they shared, so to say.
Without really knowing it I have taken the advice to heart. I have started using her things; while at first my heart would just absolutely ache, instead I now remember all of the great moments we had. Whether it's a memory of her giving John and I the beaters to lick after making cookie dough or melting pounds and pounds of chocolate with me to make chocolate lollipops to raise money for my Best Buddies club in High School.
I have now tried to apply it to more than just possessions. My mother taught me a lot over the years. The one thing she taught me best was never lose the Disney Magic. She was ALWAYS nice and never let anything get her down. She always seemed to find joy in something, even if the situation was awful and I have taken note of her (well organized) genuine care for everyone she came in contact with and how she always tried to be welcoming. This holiday season I have tried to be more like my mother in these ways. I have been a bit happier as a result and I think people unknowingly appreciate it. (Let's just say she is a pretty smart woman.)
I know the next few days are going to be hard to handle. Nothing can prepare me for the storm that will be Christmas, but I will go into this thinking of how I can best celebrate her instead of dwelling on the fact she's not with us.
Wish me luck...
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
Why I Love to Teach Dance
I have a love of teaching dance, it's nothing new... This is a love I always have had, just have never felt very good at it. Recently I have been working on and honing my teaching skills. Hopefully they have improved a little bit at least.
There are many reasons I like teaching. The biggest one is that I get to see the smile on someone's face when they finally "get" what we are doing.
We teach weekly Friday night classes in East Mesa, the last few weeks there have been some less than coordinated people in the class. Nevertheless we all worked hard, we broke down movement, footwork, connection, everything! BUT some of the people in the class just couldn't get it. Dabney and I started to rotate in as leads (since classes always seem to be follow heavy), and I would work with each girl for a little bit before she moved on. There was one girl, about age 14, who for the whole hour could not get her feet to do the footwork for the life of her. We had one last practice song then class was over, and I was determined she would be triple stepping her heart out by the end of this class. As she rotated to me I knew I had one last chance to try to help her in any way I could think of. We were going along and everything was how it had been... until we were suddenly connected and triple stepping. As I was saying footwork and counting and giving slight hints she had an epiphany! I looked up at her face and it was glowing with excitement with a HUGE SMILE from cheek to cheek! When we stopped dancing she no longer was the shy girl looking down at the floor and didn't put her hands in her pockets or cross her arms! She was a confident new woman!
I don't know if that transformation will be just for that moment or whether it will affect the rest of her life, but the fact is I helped her realize she can do something she thought she couldn't and more than just making myself feel good about doing that she felt good about herself! Seeing someone happy with themselves. This is why I teach dance.
On the flip side we taught one of our students how to lead a girl to travel in at various counts of the swing out. We believe in being versatile dancers, yes there are dancing trends but that does not mean that you shouldn't be able to do everything else. The best leads and the best follows are well rounded.
Well our student was so excited that he learned that you can lead in on 1, 2, or 3! He just wanted to share his new found knowledge! He found some local instructors he thought would want to geek out on dancing and told them of his mind blowing experience. Instead of returned excitement, he got yelled at telling him to never lead in on 1 or 3 he is to always lead in on 2 and that we aren't teaching up to date material. This student was taken aback and in turn felt bad about himself and abilities. Instead of being encouraging and instead explain why they do it the way they do, they immediately went on the defensive and started making this student feel attacked.
Now I feel very strongly about what happened. Whoever calls themselves a teacher has automatically taken on a role of understanding and patience. A teacher is not a person who should break someone down (unless they ask you to, lol).
There's a saying every one knows, "The more you know, the more you realize how much you don't- the less you know, the more you think you know (David T. Freeman)." Even teachers don't know everything or our students are going to have different opinions than us, and as teachers we need to be ok with that.
Another reason I love teaching is that I learn so much more from teaching than I ever did taking a lesson. Everyday I'm learning something new, whether it is how to change the connection slightly to allow more body isolation, how to say the same thing 5 different ways, etc!
Teaching is also helping me open up my mind to new creative outlets. I'm choreographing in my sleep, down the isle of the grocery store, and while brushing my teeth! I'm able to hear different things in the music I wasn't able to before because I didn't have to pay attention where now I do and I have a better understanding of music transition as a DJ from teaching!
All around I think I like this teaching thing a lot and I think people think I'm kind of good at it too. Which makes it that much better!
There are many reasons I like teaching. The biggest one is that I get to see the smile on someone's face when they finally "get" what we are doing.
We teach weekly Friday night classes in East Mesa, the last few weeks there have been some less than coordinated people in the class. Nevertheless we all worked hard, we broke down movement, footwork, connection, everything! BUT some of the people in the class just couldn't get it. Dabney and I started to rotate in as leads (since classes always seem to be follow heavy), and I would work with each girl for a little bit before she moved on. There was one girl, about age 14, who for the whole hour could not get her feet to do the footwork for the life of her. We had one last practice song then class was over, and I was determined she would be triple stepping her heart out by the end of this class. As she rotated to me I knew I had one last chance to try to help her in any way I could think of. We were going along and everything was how it had been... until we were suddenly connected and triple stepping. As I was saying footwork and counting and giving slight hints she had an epiphany! I looked up at her face and it was glowing with excitement with a HUGE SMILE from cheek to cheek! When we stopped dancing she no longer was the shy girl looking down at the floor and didn't put her hands in her pockets or cross her arms! She was a confident new woman!
I don't know if that transformation will be just for that moment or whether it will affect the rest of her life, but the fact is I helped her realize she can do something she thought she couldn't and more than just making myself feel good about doing that she felt good about herself! Seeing someone happy with themselves. This is why I teach dance.
On the flip side we taught one of our students how to lead a girl to travel in at various counts of the swing out. We believe in being versatile dancers, yes there are dancing trends but that does not mean that you shouldn't be able to do everything else. The best leads and the best follows are well rounded.
Well our student was so excited that he learned that you can lead in on 1, 2, or 3! He just wanted to share his new found knowledge! He found some local instructors he thought would want to geek out on dancing and told them of his mind blowing experience. Instead of returned excitement, he got yelled at telling him to never lead in on 1 or 3 he is to always lead in on 2 and that we aren't teaching up to date material. This student was taken aback and in turn felt bad about himself and abilities. Instead of being encouraging and instead explain why they do it the way they do, they immediately went on the defensive and started making this student feel attacked.
Now I feel very strongly about what happened. Whoever calls themselves a teacher has automatically taken on a role of understanding and patience. A teacher is not a person who should break someone down (unless they ask you to, lol).
There's a saying every one knows, "The more you know, the more you realize how much you don't- the less you know, the more you think you know (David T. Freeman)." Even teachers don't know everything or our students are going to have different opinions than us, and as teachers we need to be ok with that.
Another reason I love teaching is that I learn so much more from teaching than I ever did taking a lesson. Everyday I'm learning something new, whether it is how to change the connection slightly to allow more body isolation, how to say the same thing 5 different ways, etc!
Teaching is also helping me open up my mind to new creative outlets. I'm choreographing in my sleep, down the isle of the grocery store, and while brushing my teeth! I'm able to hear different things in the music I wasn't able to before because I didn't have to pay attention where now I do and I have a better understanding of music transition as a DJ from teaching!
All around I think I like this teaching thing a lot and I think people think I'm kind of good at it too. Which makes it that much better!
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