Sunday, December 20, 2009

Out

The other day I was driving and I was going through scenarios of current life situations that I am dealing with and I thought to myself... maybe I should give this person "an out".

Now when I say an out I mean a way to break whatever contract this individual and I had. Keep in mind, this particular situation had to do with more of an emotional aspect than monetary aspect of life.

I'm sitting there in my car thinking maybe I should give this person "an out" let them move on and forget everything. After all it would probably be easier that way. So I thought alright I'll talk to this person and see what they want to do about it.

Then the thought hit me... what if this person opts to take the out?! I didn't want that! That was the last thing I would want to happen!

Now to protect my wants and desires, I've decided not to bring up said "out". There is no way I'm going to try to do anything to possibly loose this individual in my life.

I know it's probably selfish, but I actually don't care at the moment. For once I know what I want and that's pretty important to go after, is it not?

1 comment:

Rachel said...

Karen,
I used to function like that with most of my relationships. I would give them the opportunity to opt out so that I wouldn't have to live in fear of them leaving unexpectedly some other time. Because the hell you know is better than the one you don't. Know what I mean? One of the hardest things I have had to learn is to come to terms with in my relationship with David and all of my long term friendships is that fear. I have to swallow it down every time it comes up, and it does pretty regularly. It's important to accept love from people as long as they are capable of giving it. I am proud of you for realizing it.
Rach