Monday, April 19, 2010

Accidental Agony

Friends are one of the most important groups in my life. Without my friends I would only be a shell of the person I am today. Friends have been the ones that have helped me through the roughest and the happiest times in my life . I love my friends dearly and want nothing to ever hurt them or harm them in any way, shape, or form.

I know that thinking nothing would ever hurt or harm my friends is wishful, so I don't ever think that. I at least thought that I would be the last one to cause them the heart ache or the pain.

Recently a really close friend of mine and I have drifted apart. Not because of anything anyone intentionally did, but it happened nonetheless. We were both living life with our own little internal struggles. Well when I shared, what I thought to be, a happy announcement it tore this friend apart. There was no personal attack involved or backstabbing or anything to that affect. It was completely different than any other situation I had dealt with before. This friend told me they needed space and so I have respected that and given them space.

In the process of giving this friend space I'm beginning to feel the loss of a true friend and am beginning to realize what heart ache I have caused. It makes me sad to think that I could have done that. It was no fault of my own, I am just doing what I feel is best for me.

In the end I know we all "gotta do what we gotta do," and if that means space or time apart or not even being friends anymore I will have to deal. I just wish it hurt a little less.

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