Emotional Wreck!

There are a TON of things I am feeling/thinking right now! I can not even really begin to describe them all! Although, I can say that all the emotions are building up too much. I am starting to break.

O.K. O.K. Maybe Emotional Wreck is too strong of a title for this post, but that's the best thing I can do to come close to expressing what I'm feeling.

I try to be the happy-go-lucky person all the time. Typically speaking I'm really good at doing it. I mean I'm a server, I have learned how to put on a happy face even though someone is a complete and utter a**, so it's easy.

Mind you I'm not complaining.

I am just getting to the point where I think I need a good cry. Which is amazing for me to say. I absolutely LOATHE crying. It's probably the worst thing I have ever experienced! It makes you tired and you look like crap afterward, and EVERYONE can see your emotions! I am not one to tell people I'm going through a hard time. I have the select few that I talk and share these secrets with (I'm sure you can figure out who you are). Certain life experiences have made me a very guarded person.

This may seem insane to those of you who have talked to me... I don't mind sharing every detail about events or my experiences. I can talk anyone's ear off about myself and what I've been through. BUT I rarely ever talk about how I feel or that I'm in trouble.

At any rate, the point is it is becoming a lot for me to handle and I just needed to get that off of my chest! Now I feel a TON better!

American Sign Language in a Music Video

Two things that I absolutely love have come together! Sia in her music video for her song "Soon We'll be Found" is signing and singing the song!

At times the signing is hard to see, but the way the signing is used in the video is amazing! what they do with different colors and black lights is inspiring. It makes me want to pursue a few ideas that I have had!

Watch it it's amazing!

(Unfortunately I couldn't find one that had the embedding option)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNqb17aR3Nc

My Walk for Autism!

What am I doing?
I am participating in a Walk for Autism and I have made a personal goal to raise $300 to donate to finding a cure/raising awareness of Autism!

Why am I doing this?
The reason I am donating my time and effort to this cause isn't because this disorder plagues my own family. It is because I have worked with those with severe autism to those who are very high functioning autistic through out high school. I even taught a little boy in Sunday School at church for a year who is Autistic (Dallin, he is the person the team I joined is in honor of).

Facts:
Autism is the second most common developmental disorder in the United States affecting one in every 150 children born today. Despite some promising discoveries, the cause of autism is unknown and a cure does not exist. Research is crucial. Every 20 minutes another child is diagnosed with autism.

How you can help!
Please join me in my fight to make a difference in the lives of the more than 1 million Americans living with autism today.

Donations are tax deductible to the fullest extent allowed by law.
Autism Speaks 501 (C)(3) Tax Id #: 20-2329938

You can donate by CLICKING HERE.

Or you can copy and paste this link into your browser: http://www.walknowforautism.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=288321&u=288321-244270513

BUT Before I Do THAT... I'll Do THIS!

This morning was an odd morning! All of 2008 I have not gotten a cold or flu, but today I wake up with a sore throat running nose, itchy/watery eyes, etc, etc, etc. I think to myself "Great way to end one year and begin another... SICK!"

So I do what I can, get up drink some hot herbal tea (which really helped the sore throat) put some Zicam up my nose and eventually take a Claritin D that my mother brought to me at work around 2:00 pm.

The whole day at work I am thinking about how miserable I am and how I just CAN"T WAIT to get home to my nice warm bed, maybe read a little and have some hot tea or something and go to sleep.

I have no idea why, but every time I imagine a nice quiet senario I never ever end up doing that!

Today it just happened that my parents had just started "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid." Of course I've never seen it and my dad proceeds to bug me about it until I sit down and finish watching it with them.

The movie is finished! I then decide to read a bit then go to sleep. BUT first I'll check my Facebook... and my email... and twitter... and my myspace... and chat with a friend... and find some cool new music... and WRITE A BLOG!!! (Can you tell which one I'm on right now??)

I always procrastinate my relaxing! I've decided it needs to stop! So right now I'm going to bed. I'm done writing and I'm hitting the sack (after I also post this to my Facebook and make it known on twitter that I wrote this blog)! Wish me luck!

I think I may really need it!

My Music

Recently (as in the last 3 days) I've been listening to an artist named Sia... who has been involved in the past with the band Zero 7

At any rate she is an amazing talented woman! She used to be part of an Acid jazz group back in the day. Meaning she is a jazz singer turned Pop. I would highly recommend her music to anyone.

My favorite song of hers at the moment is Academia (lyrics below). I have listened to it about 20 times in the last two days! If you have the opportunity check her out. She is amazing! If you want to see someone else's opinion check out my friend's blog! He has posted her music videos for her song Buttons.

academia
Lyrics:

you can be my alphabet and i will be your calculator
and together we'll work out on the escalator
i will time you as you run up the down
and you'll measure my footsteps as i blow through this town
the mean of our heights is divided by the nights
which is times'd by the daggers and the route of all our fights,the pass of your poem is to swathe me in your knowing
and the beauty of the word is that you don't have to show it
oh academia you can't pick me up soothe me with your words when i need your love
i am a dash and you are a dot
when will you see that i am all that you've got
i'm a binary code that you cracked long ago
but to you i'm just a novel that you wish you'd never wrote
i'm greater than x and lesser than y, so why is it that i still can't catch your eye?
you're a cryptic crossword, a song i've never heard
while i sit here drawing circles i'm afraid of being hurt
oh academia you can't pick me up
soothe me with your words when i need your love
you're a difficult equation with a knack for heart evasion
will you listen to my proof or will you add another page on
it appears to me the graph has come and stolen all the laughs
it appears to me the pen has over analysed again
and if i am a number i'm infinity plus one
and if you are five words you are afraid to be the one
and if you are a number you're infinity plus one
and if i am four words then i am needing of your love
oh academia you can't pick me up
soothe me with your words when i need your love
academia repeat x 5

New Year's Resolutions

Since it is New Year's Day in a couple days I am, as most individuals do this time of year, making some New Years Resolutions.

I put the Wikipedia link in here, just for those who haven't yet made a resolution... because there is a list of most popular new year's goals.

Here is my list of goals so far... Mind you I may decide to add or subtract from this list as time goes on.

> Get a Passport and go out of the country
> Read at least one book a month
> Eat Better
> Do a full body cleanse at least twice this year
> Exercise more regularly
> Save money
> Travel somewhere I haven't been in the United States
> Dance every chance I get
> Do well in school
> Grow my hair long
> Make more of an effort to be close to my immediate and extended family

I'm pretty satisfied with the list at the moment. I am excited for the New Year. It will be a year of no regrets and it will be fantastic!

Future post!

So after watching a person's VLOG tonight I have decided that one of my soon to come BLOG posts will be in VLOG form.

What does that mean for all of you?! I'm going to use American Sign Language to say what I want to say! You'll get to see me sign! Maybe you'll understand it maybe you won't!

I will put a "translation" in my BLOG so people can kind of follow along or if you're really just interested in what I have to say (although I highly doubt it).

I'm WAY excited! You all should be too! Now I just have to find out what I want to talk about... if you have any suggestions let me know... Or else I'll just end up talking about myself!!